Friday, July 2, 2010

Booking It 2010 update

It has taken me almost two weeks to read just two books! This is the reason I didn't dedicate myself to one book a week. Although, the book I'm working on now might be finished tonight (which would be one book in one day).

I read Eats, Shoots & Leaves by Lynne Truss on the recommendation of another Booking It participant.  What a great read!  I have a BA in Journalism and for a long time thought I'd be a copy editor so I love things like words, word use and punctuation.  This was a funny book and while I've always said I'm a punctuation nerd, maybe I'm not as bad as others.  And I like to make smilies with my keys.  :)

After that I picked up Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters - 10 Secrets Every Father Should Know  by Meg Meeker MD.  This book really, really, really affected me.  I don't normally share such long reviews of one book but this one was really good and really touched me.

Even though this was written by a woman (who is a daughter) to dads, this book really hit home for me. I think because I saw a lot of my dad and I in her stories and descriptions. And I see the starts of what Brian is doing for LeeAnn. I read this book for several reason. It was on Dave Ramsey's list of recommended reads (so I probably never would have heard of it if it hadn't been for that), my dad and I have a great relationship and I want LeeAnn to have that with her dad and Brian's not a reader...I wanted to check it out to see if it was worth trying to get him to read (and it is!).

Dave says, “This is the best book available on being a father to daughters. I have two daughters, and this book inspired me. I liked it so much that I provided a copy for every dad on my team who has a daughter. If you are a dad with a daughter, you must read this book TODAY.”

From the back of the book,
"Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters is a sobering reminder of the awesome responsibilities of fatherhood. It strongly reinforces just how important (and unavoidable) a father's influence is on his daughter's life – for good or ill – and how dangerous this world can be for girls whose fathers aren't there to protect them, guide them, and even fight for them. It shows, in the face of the popular culture, that strong dads are essential for strong daughters. Dads, you owe it to your daughters – and to yourselves – to read this book.

– David Limbaugh, nationally syndicated columnist and bestselling author

From the inside flap,
Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters reveals:
  • The essential characteristics and virtues of strong fathers – and how to develop them
  • How daughters take cues from their fathers on everything from drug use, drinking, smoking, and having sex, to self-esteem, moodiness, and seeking attention from boys
  • Why girls want you to place restrictions on them (even though they'll complain when you do)
  • How to become a hero to your daughter – and why she needs that more than anything
  • The one mistake fathers make that is the primary cause of girls "hooking up"
  • Why girls depend on the guidance of fathers through, and even beyond, their college years
  • Recipe for disaster: the notion that girls "need to make their own decisions and mistakes"
  • Why girls need God – and how your faith or lack thereof, will influence her
  • How to communicate with your daughter – and how not to
  • True stories of "prodigal daughters" – and how their fathers helped bring them back
A couple areas that really spoke to me where:
pg 163
Dr Meeker is sharing the story of Alicia and her dad and how her dad asked her to not marry Jack, the man that Alicia believed was the man of her dreams. Her dad asked her several times to not marry him, that something just didn't feel right. An anonymous call lead Alicia to hire a private investigator and come to find out, Alicia's dad was right. Jack had four other names, three wives, had never been to law school (told Alicia he had), had two children by two different women and had a warrant out for his arrest in another state. Alicia said her dad never rubbed it in that he was right. "He just came and helped me take care of things." The part that touched me most, she said, "You know, even while my dad was warning me during that time, something really bothered me about Jack: he was so different from my dad. Of course I didn't want to tell anyone. I mean, he talked differently and I caught him in a few white lies. My dad never did that. My father was quiet and honest. It never dawned on me that I couldn't trust him, but I wasn't ever quite sure whether or not I could trust Jack. ... I knew, I knew, deep in my heart that I could never marry someone so different from my dad, but I don't know, I guess I was just totally blinded by infatuation. How could I have been so stupid?"

WOW. This is me. Well, kinda. I got engaged to a boy (and he was a boy) my senior year of college. I thought for sure he was the one. Up until this point, my dad and I emailed each other daily. We told my parents about the engagement on a Sunday. I never got another daily email from my dad. I think he was so disappointed in me. My dad never told me not to marry him but I know he didn't want me to. Finally, the drugs and lying and the unfaithfulness were too much and I left. It was actually my mom who came to save me but my dad was there when I got home. And now? Brian? He is just like my dad.

And another:
pg 225
Since you are competing with e-conversations, e-songs and e-relationships, steal her away from the screen as often as you can. Remember, when all is said and experienced, you are a better communicator than cell phones, e-mail or chat rooms. They can't comfort her when she's in the hospital. They can't walker her down the aisle toward her future husband. You will.

In the afterword I read this that I really liked, "Many days we are disappointed. We find ourselves grasping for that elusive "something" that will make us feel complete. But the more we search for it, the more distant it becomes, because what we're searching for is sitting right there. It's not your job or your hobbies. It's not more money or more sex. It's your family - your children, your spouse - and God. They are the real center of our lives."

  •  Realize who you are to her.
  • Open your eyes to her world (it's different from yours).
  • Fight for her body (error on the side of being overprotective and you'll hit is just right).
  • Fight for her mind.
  • Fight for her soul.
  • Fight for your relationship with her (the bottom line is she needs more time with you than she does with her friends. So be with her).
Last page - last paragraph: "One day, when she is grown, something between the two of you will shift. If you have done your job well, she will choose another good man to love her, fight for her and be intimately connected to her. But he will never replace you in her heart, because you were there first. And that's the ultimate reward for being a good dad."

So. This book has touched me in so many ways. Even though I'm the mom in the equation, I'm going to employ some of these tactics. And this book? I'm going to buy it. I want to mark it up, refer to it and use it as we raise our baby girl into a woman.

Now that I've finished that amazing book I'm back to Karen Kingsbury's A Moment of Weakness that I had to take back to the library a couple weeks ago.  It has been REALLY good and I've read over 100 pages of it already today.  I'm thinking I'll need to hit up the library tomorrow to get me through the next few days - I don't go back to work until Thursday now...

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